Not my battles....

Why do I care so much when other people get upset? When a random person tells a friend that he should stop drinking and this and that, why do I stick up for him? When she sends me hateful letters, why do I respond? Ever sticking up for my friend. Why do I fight for my friends what they themselves cannot?

When friends are going through hard times, why am I such an emotional sponge? Why do I cry before they even can for their heartache? Why do I get angry?

Most importantly, why do I always strive to fix it? Why do I want to take the steps that they can't? Why do I take so much of the weight on myself? I think it's to try to lessen their loads. But in the process, I end up crushed.

They change their mind, they go back. They have friends who yell at them, and break them down over and over again. They continue communication with people to whom I've spent weeks sticking up for them. They contradict everything they've told me.

Why do I do this?

Perhaps I am too young and too immature.
Perhaps I care too much.

Oh, but I've never ever been good at moderation....
So where is the balance between caring too much about others and not caring at all?
Which one hurts fewer in the end?

If I continue to care too much, I am going to die from suffocation. From rejection.
If I start to not care at all, I am going to let so many down.

But what is the point when it is not even appreciated?

This weekend, I'm cashing everything in for a first class ticket.
Destination: Hermit.

I wonder if anyone will note the absence anyhow.